I keep hearing about some movie called "It's a Wonderful Life." Never seen it. Holding out for the zombie version to be released.

Pumped up Kicks (Foster the People)

Happy Christmas (by John Lennon)

Beat Down and Scarred

Society is based on control. As a system, it beats us down, keeps us in control. We work until we are numbed to our own existence. In order to survive we are quite frequently forced to die to ourselves, to deny our own basic instincts for living.

Survival instincts override the need for joy. We keep breathing, yet our lives are out of breath, run dry of our own basic vitality. Very much a zombie-syndrome society, walking about without feeling.

Our souls have become fibrous with scar tissue from repeated lashings incurred through self denial, through self deprecation.

Still Waiting for Go

There's a book I've been working on for too long, way too long. I feel I'm chasing the characters right off the stage. There they are, all doing their thing, until I show up. Whenever I attempt to put their words and actions onto paper or into the laptop, they all sit down quietly and behave. Totally not fun! Not cool! So I try to catch them off guard so they don't know I'm watching. Maybe I should pretend I'm nodding off and then listen try to listen through the wall!

Answers Not Forthcoming

All of us have paths to walk. Do we have a choice in any of it? Even the choices we make, are they ours? We think they are. Many times, though, they are predetermined for us. Let's say we're given four choices (at best). We think we choose one of them. But guess what, those four choices were usually made for us, and choosing any of them is accepting another voice's determination of the progression of things.

Stay calm. Don't get upset. Follow the rules. Do what you're told. We're raised to believe that others in authority are looking out for our best interests. Is that always true? Yes, sometimes it's true, but not always.

I've spent years trying to get my life in order. Whenever I get close, something always happens out of my control which seems to spin me backwards. It would be refreshing if to fell supported and empowered. It would be beautiful if the artistic process was fostered instead of stifled.

Proper "language" is stressed in corporate settings, with the belief that if you say things the right way, you can get people to do most anything you want them to do. When you disagree with them, the language is then turned on you, to convince you that corporate thinking knows what's best for you.

If you please, I'd rather continue to think for myself.

Shit My Pants

Holy Batman! It's Monday!

Where did the weekend go? Who gave it permission to pass too damn quickly? That's most of our lives, isn't it?Life passes so quickly. We spend hours and hours working for our future, planning all the details, and then Bam! It's over. Life shouldn't be so complicated, so busy.

How did I get myself into this? How in the world will I ever pay off student loans? I could have purchased a home, but instead I have excessive debt because I wanted an education. Someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. I responded, "I want to be out of debt." Should be simple enough, but it isn't.

The Party is Beginning

 

Somewhere, the party is beginning. At the moment, I'm trudging through school work so one day I might return to the carnival.

Hubig Pies goes cyber!

Oh my! It's been so many years since I've eaten one of their pies, I don't even know if I have a favorite anymore! That being said, I'd be grateful for any flavor they might have hot at the moment.

Here's the usual selection: Apple, Lemon, Peach, Pineapple, Chocolate, Coconut... and then sometimes Strawberry, Blueberry, Sweet Potato, Cherry, and Banana, depending on the growing season.

Dragon's Den

Esplanade Avenue, New Orleans, Louisiana

Holding Cell

Some days it feels as though my life has become a holding cell, life being spent waiting for parole. Colorado is great if you like skiing. Hiking can be wonderful too. But really, who the hell wants to climb a mountain every weekend? Or even fly down it on a pair of skis or board and dodge trees? Can only do that so many times. And it all costs money.

I'm from New Orleans, transplanted here back in 2004. It was a good move for the time. Missed out on the flood and mold after Katrina hit and immobilized the city for months. After all this time, though, my heart is ready to move home.

On the weekend, I remember just walking out the front door, not knowing where I was headed. Maybe $15 in my pocket. Spent all day around the city, having a blast, knowing that $15 would be enough for a great day. I miss that. If you got bored, an adventure was only a 5 minute walk away. Here, in Denver, seems it requires walking back to your car, finding somewhere else to drive to, driving there, looking for parking, and hoping you hadn't changed your mind in the 1/2 hour it took to get there.

Holding cell. That's where I'm at. Waiting to finish my degree, then move back. Just waiting, and hoping there's enough beer to last me until I get there.